So I have a dilemma... that I have recently (minutes ago) figured out that I don't actually want anyone to give me advice on. Now I want to ask people for advice, but I don't want them to tell me what I don't want to hear. I can sort of appreciate the people who come to me asking for advice and then don't like that I give it to them now. Granted, I figured out that I didn't actually want it fairly quickly after thinking to ask for it, but that doesn't mean everyone will.
So I have this ex...
We're still on fairly good terms, but he tends to fall off of the face of the planet more easily than I do. At least when I fall off of the planet I generally still reply to the things that people send me, especially people I care about. Yeahhh... not so much.
So, as you may imagine, I don't see him very often. Like with every other love I've had, I still love him just as deeply as before. I can't help myself. But when he made mention of maybe hanging out at some point, I, for the first time in nearly 6 years, didn't just hop up to run to him. Instead I got a little annoyed that he took so long to talk to me and then started to weigh whether it was worth the travel or not.
That's pretty big for me.
Now I still really really want to see him, but I'm not sure if I can just drop what I'm doing just to hang out with him. I'm not getting sex out of this deal, and I'm not likely to get much affection or deep conversation. Why would he invite *me* this time? It's not like him to show any interest in me other than when whoever he's been sleeping with either isn't around or has left for good.
Would this visit be healing for me and worth the fuel it takes to get to where we'd be meeting or would it just be a disappointment as things surrounding him have been recently? Maybe I do actually want advice o.o
Weirddddd.....
Naomi Marie
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